Last christmas I went back to my hometown which is a vacation town, it’s full of palm trees, marinas, bars, and beautiful people. Seems like anytime old friends find out I’m in town they want to meet up or hook me up with someone. This year, my girlfriend insisted that I get in touch with an old “lover, ex-roommate, friend” from 12 years ago; who had recently broken up with his girlfriend and moved across the state to a different touristy area after 19 years of working at the same bar. I was curious of his crazy move, so I decided why not and sent him a text.
We caught up on each other’s lives but weeks later realized he had confused me with another person by the same name. Before I knew it he was sending me unsolicited dick pics. Yuck! Nothing like getting one in the morning before work of someone you have zero feelings for.
He then started blowing up my phone like when I was 20 years old. I realized then why I had discontinued talking to him. There was so much that I was no longer impressed by. He constantly tried to peacock me with showing me pictures of his 100+ collection of fancy watches, pictures of his monster truck, pictures of his tan body, muscles, or how to tell me how much money he was saving and making. Perhaps he felt there was the same connection, the same comfort level, but to me, it was very clear what he was doing and I was not naive at all to fall for it. One thing that is different in your 30’s and 20’s is intention. What are your intentions, what are their intentions? Ask yourself that, and you will save A LOT of time.
I had to be direct with him soon after. Just how quickly he tried to enter my life, he soon after disappeared from it again.
Even though I would be happy to be his friend, I’m not willing to be chosen because they are lonely.
Always ask yourself, is this person interested in me because of me, or because they are lonely, bored, and I’m always accessible.
You are worth more. Don’t ever forget that.
Some people need the constant attention, I don’t. That’s why I have dogs.
