How To Choose Where To Go on Your First Date and with Who…

 

We live in a time that everyone has a busy life, where our free time is very precious and to waste an evening with someone you can’t stand is criminal. Valuing your time is the best choice you can make. With the non-stop swiping, and constant switching message windows from person to person, it’s hard to choose who you want to go on a first date with.

STEP 1: SWIPE ONLY FOR PEOPLE WHO YOU CAN SEE YOURSELF KISSING AND HAVE A BRAIN
I normally start with five matches (being picky that I am), then I narrow it down to three guys. I try to give everyone a chance but a chance doesn’t mean a date. I’ll talk to them until I get to the point where I either get bored or figure out they don’t meet my standards and we have zero in common. I kindly tell them I’m no longer interested, where then they try to convince me that I’m wrong in not giving them a chance or say “But we haven’t even met, how do you know we aren’t a good match?”. Last week I almost replied “Cuz you are annoying AF” but I was too nice and just didn’t reply after they told me how much I was missing out and their ongoing list of qualities he thought I would be impressed by. Which just made me feel reassured that my instinct was right. I’ve learned not to waste time on people who aren’t worth of mine.

STEP TWO: LISTEN TO YOUR INSTINCT! CHOOSE A GUY THAT IS SHOWING INTEREST IN YOU BY ALSO PUTTING WORK INTO HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH YOU. THIS MEANS, HE SHOULD BE ASKING QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT YOU LIKE AND PICKING UP THINGS FROM YOUR PROFILE TO ENGAGE MORE WITH YOU.

STEP THREE: PICK SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO REGARDLESS WHO HE IS (SOMETHING YOU COULD ENJOY ALONE OR WOULD DO EVEN IF HE WASN’T TAKING YOU THERE).
Don’t think that every person you go on a date is applying for the husband position. MOST LIKELY they WON’T BE THE ONE. You have to look at dating as something FUN. Now how can we know whether we will have fun or be entertained? The question you should ask yourself HOW DO I HAVE FUN REGARDLESS OF WITH WHO I AM WITH? For me it’s DANCING AND DRINKS. I love it! Anything with music is my thing. So I make sure that my date has either live music or dance music. Which is a test on how it would be if we would be a couple. It’s the ultimate test on doing something you love and know you wouldn’t want to get rid of in your life. If this new guy has something negative to say about the ambience of your good juju, then obviously he is NOT the one.

WHO TO PICK?
One of the things I’ve learned this 2017 year is that I’m greatly entertained by knowledge. If my date is teaching me something or is sharing something so out of my range that I’m in awe at the story then I know I’m going to be entertained. Pick someone with adventurous or eventful career so they can entertain you with their stories. Lawyers are fun compared to the guy who works in a manufacturing warehouse. Musicians, travelers, and even swingers!

If a guy can get you to laugh over text, it’s always a good sign! It’s also a sign they are confident human beings. If a guy sends you more selfies than you take, take that as a note that they are arrogant and most likely not worth your time. They care more about appearance and lack intellectuality. They can’t formulate enough interesting conversations so they send you tons of pics. Soooo annoying!!

FIRST DATES CAN BE THE ULTIMATE TEST
Two weeks ago I decided to take a chance and meet a guy for the first time at the GYM as our first date and it was great! I felt like I didn’t lose anytime because I was doing what was on my TO DO LIST and doing what I WANTED to do! It was a test on how we would work out together, a test on his ability of lasting thru a hard workout, and how he treated women in a position where he could have the ability to show off or be a teacher.

The date went well, we set up a second date at the gym, with clean up at my place and drinks downtown. It went pretty well. Again, had a great time listening to an amazing band and having my favorite drinks. Third date is tonight…NEW YEARS EVE! Wasn’t sure how I felt about spending it with someone new but again I’m doing WHAT I WANT TO DO and that was stay home, make dinner and spend it with my pups, so why not share it with someone who is good company?

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Fuckboy Story – Johnny Depp 1.0

Getting to know Fuckboy #1…

His name is Johnny Depp. I met him on bumble last year. He was one of those guys who captures your attention for being original on his post, not a perv immediately, and steers away from your normal boring conversation of getting to know some one like what do you do for work, how many siblings do you have, etc. He was dressed really casual and I wasn’t really impressed. After our casual beer date, we decided to go check out a dive bar that was recommended to us by a local. I had no plans of drinking heavy but he immediately requested Tequila shots, and drinks. Before I knew it, we were connecting like butter and bread. The way he looked at me, made me melt and he was filled with such contagious energy that we fled into the dance floor and danced the night away. So far this was the most exciting and promising Bumble date I had at this time.

A few days later I invited him over for dinner. It was an evening in November so it was cold. He walked into my house in a leather jacket, with his hair slicked to the side but hanging a little over his face, and all I kept thinking was omg this man must be cold, why is he wearing a leather jacket? For some reason I don’t think leather jackets are warm enough for a bitter winter. We sat at my round dining table, with dimmed lights, and had a deep intellectual conversation. I even think I had classical music playing in the background. We bounced back and forth our thoughts on dating, mating, and relationships. In the middle, we discovered that we both shared the same favorite book which is so rare. For me this was magical. It was one of those weird moments that you want to pinch yourself to see if it was real. This book was Sex At Dawn.

I want to talk a little bit about this book before I continue with my story. This book has mold me into the person I am today. I’m very different to who I was before I got married. I’ve grown so much. I can better understand the psychology of men and women, and why it’s hard to have a long term marriage/relationship with only one person. I understand how jealousy works, and I have learn to accept the truth, which is women co-exist better with other women then men. Cohabitating with the same sex has and is how it is in most of all ancient and indigenous cultures. To me this is so important to know, because I can better understand myself, my needs, and the nature of humankind. I definitely recommend  Sex At Dawn by Dr. Chris Ryan. I could keep going talking about the book in more details but this post isn’t about the book. So I’m going to stop right here and continue my story with Johnny Depp…

The entire night, this stranger who didn’t tell me much about his personal life during our first date, was jumping off his seat telling me stories about his life, his ex girlfriend (aka. who I remind him of (Rolling eyes emoji), his marijuana business, his inability to be attainable,  his ability to like all types of women for different reasons, his experience with women always wanting to feel special therefore never being able to be ok with handling an open relationship. He was in the Navy for many years, and from his stories he was definitely a playboy in his travels with his boys Rolling eyes emoji.  I immediately felt like I had finally met someone on Bumble that looked at sex in a similar way and wasn’t a judgemental and jealous type (which I hate).

A week later as we continued talking via text I realized he hated small talk, he was a bit of a dick, and he was definitely someone that I could not have a loving relationship with. He showed no empathy, and could careless what I did during my week (even though he would disappear for a few days and then text me asking how I was). After a week or two, we both had to travel to Florida. He was in the upper peninsula and I was like 6 hours away. He almost made plans to spend christmas with me and my family (which would had been weird and awkward explaining who the fuck he was). Thank god he decided to visit his family in a nearby state instead. I was already feeling stressed of having to deal with my family and the sleeping situation. Where would he sleep, did I have to rush and buy him a xmas gift? Either way, I recall telling him I was sick, or something and he responding something shitty. I blew up on him and pretty much told him to fuck off.  At this point I was so over this Bumble guy but  the next day he texted me apologizing, using the excuse that he had been drinking and didn’t mean to be so cold with me. Blah, blah, blah. I then returned to winter hell and was planning on spending New Year’s Eve at home alone since I was still trying to get over a cold. To my surprised Johnny Depp had a plan, a sneaky plan, that is pretty much the foreshadowing of who he turned out to be…..

(SEE BLOG JOHNNY DEPP 1.1 for continued story)