JEALOUSY AND CHEATING

Why happy couples cheat and why are we so jealous?

Whether you are married or dating,  people find it so hard to stay faithful. I have witness all sorts of people wanting to cheat or actually cheating. I would estimate  from personal experience about 5% of men don’t cheat on their mates, while probably 85% of women wouldn’t cheat on their spouse. But now a days what is considered cheating?  There’s online porn, sexting, online dating apps, massage parlors, grinning at the club, so many ways some couples might consider cheating. I was once told cheating is doing something you wouldn’t do in front of your partner, but does that really stand now a days? I personally believe there shouldn’t be walls or restrictions between couples. All fantasies and dirty thoughts should be shared but not all people share the same openmindness I have. People tend to be possessive, controlling, and of course we all know the big one JEALOUSY!! My thoughts are it boils down to self-esteem and confidence.  

pretty girl on tv
Weather girl Yanet Garcia

If you are worried that your suppose is wandering off looking for someone else to replace you, or you are getting all hissy fit that your partner is staring at someone else who’s very good looking in the room, tv, or online, all it really says is that you have ZERO CONFIDENCE in yourself and in your relationship!!! Now there are people who will cheat and their suppose is confident in themselves and in their relationship but I believe  those cheat strictly for the release and not the emotional exchanges that can come about in love affairs. I will discuss the difference in cheating for love and for sex on a different post (Future post: How to know the difference between cheating for love and sex, and How you can avoid one!)

We are humans, aka animals, we have natural instincts to be aroused and want sex. The key is control. ANNNND remember the difference between sex and love.  If you are in a relationship, most likely you are with them because you LOVE each other, it’s more than just sex, it’s sooo much more than just sex!!

https://giphy.com/embed/13LsbhW8N4TVrG

via GIPHY

Don’t feel threaten! Instead join your partner in admiring what they are drooling over! Remember you are on each other’s side! Join your partner in his/her arousal and make it your own. I think this is the point in your relationship where you either push each other away or get closer. If you try to control your partner, it will only make you look less attractive, and make them feel suffocated, and push them to feeling the need to hide their feelings, desires, thoughts, aka fantasies from you. Don’t create walls in your relationship by letting your insecurities take over your temperament. Don’t create fights over silly things! Life is too short to get jealous over something that is so natural to being human.

You might ask what does this have to do with cheating? Well it’s the start! Once you have made your partner know of your insecurities, you have made them more reciprocal to being attracted to other confident women.  Remember to be your partner’s best friend, someone who doesn’t judge but listens.

Honesty creates trust, trust creates union, and union is what keeps you on the same side of the net.

Here’s a great video on Why Happy Couples Cheat!!

 

 

Fuckboy 101: How to identify a fuckboy — The Fine Oyinbo

My first love was a fuckboy. If you know any psychology, you would see how this screwed my mind. I was naive and eager at that time. Apparently, he knew that and used it to his advantage. So he dished out his crap and I lapped it all up with hearts in my eyes. And […]

via Fuckboy 101: How to identify a fuckboy — The Fine Oyinbo

THE STRUGGLE IS REAL!!! We are tired of online dating scene!

 

The truth is we are all tired of online dating scene! We are in our 30’s and it seems like men now a days are too shy to come talk to you unlike how it was in our in our 20’s. Either people have forgotten how to flirt in public or the men in our age group are going for the 20 year olds. My single girlfriends miss getting a bunch of numbers at the bar or club. Take me back to the early 2000’s!! ?

text message from girlfriend expressing missing the club dating scene

 

From listening to other women talk, and also from how I have felt at the bar myself, it’s intimidating talking to strangers because you don’t know if they have a girlfriend or are just not interested in you. Even though some long stares are shared, it seems like no one has the courage to start a conversation. The fact that there’s lessons and books on how to do this is mind blowing. Why do we need instructions for something that should be so natural and instinct driven? How have we lost this ability to meet strangers? Our addictions of staring into our phones and swiping is taken away our human interaction skill, making it much harder to meet new people out at bars. The same person you would swipe right for could be sitting at the bar but you won’t dare to talk to them. The more technology increases, the less our community building skills decrease.

I’m here to tell you don’t be scared of shaking that booty on someone.  Don’t be scared to accidentally drop your napkin (keys, whatever you have in your hand) in front of the cute guy to help start a connection! Don’t be afraid to ask him to pass you a straw or mentioned how crazy busy it is that night. Make him/her know you are interested with little sips of interest! Remember to flirt like you were 21! Confidence is the most sexy quality a person can have! You can do it!