Believing in Love, Marriage, and Soulmates

I write a lot about Fuckboys and dating but it doesn’t mean I don’t believe in true love or soulmates. In my opinion most of society is married to the wrong person, like I myself did years ago. You get married because this person says they love you and want to spend forever with you. You marry them because from the first time you held hands you felt protected and happy. You marry them because they made you laugh and feel special. At the end there is no guarantee it will always feel that special and real, the only guarantee is the present. Sometimes we turn the other cheek when presented with facts such as enormous amounts of differences between you and your partner. We don’t want to see the negative, we avoid accepting that we want different things, but we try to work through it by thinking we will be together no matter what. In reality we don’t marry our soulmates, we just marry a person who at the time makes us very happy and content.

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When I tell women men and women all cheat, except for 5-10% they don’t want to believe me. Even happy couples cheat, even poly couples, and even people in open relationships. It’s a human nature defective. People searching for this adventure, longing, secrecy that enhances the passion by being forbidden. Author and psychologist Esther Perel explains cheating and contemporary relationships. She reminds us the definition of infidelity keeps expanding from sexting, watching porn, massage parlors to full affairs. What arises from these lust attractions are temporary and will eventually fade away because it’s rooted from guilt.

In my opinion there is still hope and I’m a strong believer that true love does exist out there but a very tiny amount of the population have the ability to love one person and that person only forever. You can see true love when someone looks at their partner with the most admiration, love, appreciation and desire, when it’s so clear that they feel truly lucky to be sharing their life and present with their other half.  Like this couple Robert and Pasha. When the love is real, I think you can start feeling it very quickly. Meeting your soulmate must feel like when you look in the mirror but instead you are looking into your partner’s eyes. It’s this strong union that feels like addiction and completes you.

Pasha talks about how it’s not complicated and if you are scrambling for words or asking for advice from friends on how to respond to your guy, it’s not a good sign and I TOTALLY AGREE!! Talking to your spouse should feel so natural, so easy. One because it should feel as comfortable as you talking to yourself. I know that sounds weird but just go with me. You have no fears when speaking your thoughts in your head, and that’s how it should feel. When talking to your other half, it should be a judgement free zone, a place where you can say stuff and it will be an easy conversation and not turn into a fight.

Falling in love is beautiful and dangerous because at one point you forget about yourself and you worry more about the other person’s feelings, needs, and dreams. You forget who you are. The solution to this hopeless romantic story would be finding someone who doesn’t let you forget who you are, someone who’s constantly pushing you further, encouraging your dreams, who’s there for you, who doesn’t give up on you, someone who makes you stronger, happier, and healthier mentally and physically.

Choose LOVE but make sure it’s with someone who values you to the core and makes your life a better one with them in it. Someone who doesn’t add to your stress and takes advantage of your kindness. Love is selfless, patient, and kind. Choose someone who looks at you like you are the most special thing on this planet and treats you with respect, protects you, and wants to be with you. Being together should not feel like a chore, it should make you feel so lucky to be with this person next to you. 

Don’t give your heart to a Fuckboy! Choose wisely.