It’s not often I get the luxury visit from my all time favorite fuckboy. Not cuz he’s good at fucking but because he makes every minute with him worth while. He radiates with happiness, good humor, sex talk, intellectual conversation, and pretty much reminds me of myself. This video definitely doesn’t show the good side of him or the good humor.
At this point I have discovered he is definitely not for me for the long run, or even short term. He’s just someone I enjoy talking to and sharing time with. We have a similar approach to life and share similar theories and believes. Here’s a clip from our dinner conversation where he’s sharing how he fuck hates, or hate fucks, (whatever it’s called) to his baby’s momma. I had asked him why he doesn’t marry his baby’s momma and he proceeded to tell me how he can’t stand her. She visited him from the other side of the world for the first time and stayed with him for a little bit, maybe 2-3 weeks and this is how he reacted when I asked him. Please note I don’t agree with what comes out of his mouth. I think true hate, creates disgust nor do I commend any violence or desires of violence. Post this video, he spoke about pheromones and how he thought that was the only way and reason why his body reacts so intense to her sexually.
Why happy couples cheat and why are we so jealous?
Whether you are married or dating, people find it so hard to stay faithful. I have witness all sorts of people wanting to cheat or actually cheating. I would estimate from personal experience about 5% of men don’t cheat on their mates, while probably 85% of women wouldn’t cheat on their spouse. But now a days what is considered cheating? There’s online porn, sexting, online dating apps, massage parlors, grinning at the club, so many ways some couples might consider cheating. I was once told cheating is doing something you wouldn’t do in front of your partner, but does that really stand now a days? I personally believe there shouldn’t be walls or restrictions between couples. All fantasies and dirty thoughts should be shared but not all people share the same openmindness I have. People tend to be possessive, controlling, and of course we all know the big one JEALOUSY!! My thoughts are it boils down to self-esteem and confidence.
If you are worried that your suppose is wandering off looking for someone else to replace you, or you are getting all hissy fit that your partner is staring at someone else who’s very good looking in the room, tv, or online, all it really says is that you have ZERO CONFIDENCE in yourself and in your relationship!!! Now there are people who will cheat and their suppose is confident in themselves and in their relationship but I believe those cheat strictly for the release and not the emotional exchanges that can come about in love affairs. I will discuss the difference in cheating for love and for sex on a different post (Future post: How to know the difference between cheating for love and sex, and How you can avoid one!)
We are humans, aka animals, we have natural instincts to be aroused and want sex. The key is control. ANNNND remember the difference between sex and love. If you are in a relationship, most likely you are with them because you LOVE each other, it’s more than just sex, it’s sooo much more than just sex!!
Don’t feel threaten! Instead join your partner in admiring what they are drooling over! Remember you are on each other’s side! Join your partner in his/her arousal and make it your own. I think this is the point in your relationship where you either push each other away or get closer. If you try to control your partner, it will only make you look less attractive, and make them feel suffocated, and push them to feeling the need to hide their feelings, desires, thoughts, aka fantasies from you. Don’t create walls in your relationship by letting your insecurities take over your temperament. Don’t create fights over silly things! Life is too short to get jealous over something that is so natural to being human.
You might ask what does this have to do with cheating? Well it’s the start! Once you have made your partner know of your insecurities, you have made them more reciprocal to being attracted to other confident women. Remember to be your partner’s best friend, someone who doesn’t judge but listens.
Honesty creates trust, trust creates union, and union is what keeps you on the same side of the net.
Can you truly have a relationship with a fuckboy? I don’t know. I ask myself this tonight, while I laid next to a man who I find very similar to myself in someways but who I also can’t stand for how they feel about women. Have you ever met a man so charming, handsome, fun, so perfect that when you are with him, you feel special, you feel like you want to be with them regardless of the bullshit? He sings songs out of the blue, brightens your time during your date, he dances with you until closing time, he cooks for you, he cleans the house why you are gone, he’s adventurous in bed and he’s intellectual! How can one person be all these wonder things and also want to sleep with 30 other women? Ok, maybe not 30 but you get the drift.
From all the research I have done, all the podcast I have listened to, all the men I’ve met, I’m not afraid of sharing. I’m not against knowing that my partner will be aroused by another woman, there are much larger problems a relationship can have than sharing someone sexually. Sex is sex. Cheating is a different story. Cheating is lying and being deceitful. Something I’m highly against. Having an open relationship, is having a relationship with your best friend, someone you can share anything and everything without judgement. So If I can become best friends with this fuckboy, could I be happy? Could we be happy? Am i delusional?
I think we are living on the time when monogamy is dead. We no longer are getting married for money, or stability. Women have been able to support themselves. Why do we need to be in a relationship with one person forever? I agree if you want to make a family you probably should be with that person forever or until your children are grown but what if you don’t want children, what if you don’t want to get married, all you want is a partner, a friend, a companion? Can a fuckboy be this if you come to the agreement of having an open relationship? Could it work in the long term? A relationship based on truth, honesty, and passion to me is a remedy for a healthy long relationship? But what are the risks? Like in any relationship there are always risks. One of the biggest concerns with me would be the increased probability in STD’s. But if we didn’t have to worry about that, could more people be driven and desire OPEN RELATIONSHIPS? I believe so, I think naturally we wouldn’t mind more than one partner but social norms have made it into this 1:1 ratio.
I think it’s about honesty and trust……..if you have those things anything is possible but without it you are better off being alone than in a relationship with a fuckboy.
My first love was a fuckboy. If you know any psychology, you would see how this screwed my mind. I was naive and eager at that time. Apparently, he knew that and used it to his advantage. So he dished out his crap and I lapped it all up with hearts in my eyes. And […]
The truth is we are all tired of online dating scene! We are in our 30’s and it seems like men now a days are too shy to come talk to you unlike how it was in our in our 20’s. Either people have forgotten how to flirt in public or the men in our age group are going for the 20 year olds. My single girlfriends miss getting a bunch of numbers at the bar or club. Take me back to the early 2000’s!! ?
From listening to other women talk, and also from how I have felt at the bar myself, it’s intimidating talking to strangers because you don’t know if they have a girlfriend or are just not interested in you. Even though some long stares are shared, it seems like no one has the courage to start a conversation. The fact that there’s lessons and books on how to do this is mind blowing. Why do we need instructions for something that should be so natural and instinct driven? How have we lost this ability to meet strangers? Our addictions of staring into our phones and swiping is taken away our human interaction skill, making it much harder to meet new people out at bars. The same person you would swipe right for could be sitting at the bar but you won’t dare to talk to them. The more technology increases, the less our community building skills decrease.
I’m here to tell you don’t be scared of shaking that booty on someone. Don’t be scared to accidentally drop your napkin (keys, whatever you have in your hand) in front of the cute guy to help start a connection! Don’t be afraid to ask him to pass you a straw or mentioned how crazy busy it is that night. Make him/her know you are interested with little sips of interest! Remember to flirt like you were 21! Confidence is the most sexy quality a person can have! You can do it!