Should You Be Friends With Your Ex and If So, When?

So you break up. Either they broke your heart or you broke theirs. Either way, the relationship had become toxic and unhealthy. You were tired of things not changing, you felt trapped, and both of you were unhappy. Or maybe one lived a lie and pretend to be happy, creating a mirage of a happy relationship, leading to false expectations, a false reality. Now you hate them but they want to remain friends. What do you do? Or maybe you don’t hate them and feel bad for them. What do you do?

I’m a firm believer of

S P A C E + T I M E = H E A L I N G

We are mirrors in many ways. What and how we see ourselves is what we attract and accept in our lives. Relationships make two people mirror one another in certain angles or at least balance one another. If you separate two people apart, the person who they were in the relationship no longer exists. The identity of wife or husband or girlfriend or boyfriend is dismantle. You have to create a new identity, a new self, a new beginning. And in order to do that we cannot continue to hold on to the past, to what was once, and no longer serves us.

Little by little, we will create a new self, as we surround ourselves with a new environment, new energy and reconnect with our old self that existed before they had entered our lives.

It’s a new you and with a higher purpose. After break ups there’s always unresolved issues. Unanswered questions, resentment, and even regret. All negative feelings that should simmer before entering the same space you just chose to step away from. Just like you shouldn’t touch a heating pot and wait for it to cool down is the way you should approach any interaction with your ex. Nothing good will ever result in maintaining a friendship with your ex.

So how long does it take to get to a safe place where you are strong willed and your heart doesn’t hold any negative emotions? Well that’s really up to you. How long will it take you to create a new identity that you love and feel grateful for? Once you have found a sense of completeness then maybe then you can say hi from a distance, establish boundaries, and be that friend that you know well but don’t stalk, or get attached to. Remember you don’t owe anyone anything. Especially a friendship. Life is too short to make excuses for people and keep going in a circle.


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