Have you been with someone that you just keep discovering and liking more and more but at the same time you also discover things that you wish were different about how they handle the relationship?
There are two components of a relationship: The Ego and The Space In-between two people
There’s you, there’s them, and then there’s the relationship. The relationship is the time you spend together, it’s the time you spend apart. It’s where you invest in each other, it’s where you put your money into. Then you exist as your own self and then they exist as their own self. You might love all the things about that person, like the way they look, their drive, their style, the way they talk, etc., but then there’s the person who is the standin in such space like a relationship with you. This person might change over the years, or even over the months. This person is a reflection of how they feel about you, how they feel about their space, and also can be where this person goes to dump their built up emotions. This space can be a haven one day and the next not.
So when do we walk away from a space that we no longer wish to share? I have a few questions I have been asking myself before calling it quits and here they are:
1. How do I feel when I’m with them?
2. Has this relationship become toxic?
3. Do I miss them when I’m apart from them?
4. Do I feel appreciated? Do I feel desired?
5. Could I share my future with this person?
6. Am I happy in this present moment?
7. Will I regret the time spent with this person?
8. How much of the issues we have are ego or time issues?
I have a motto I go by and that’s live my life as today is my last. I’ve been through enough to know you can have the most loving and happy relationship one day and then it can all change regardless of your investment into it and how much you love the other person. I’ve learn that you should live for TODAY not the future, as the future is NEVER certain. So before you end things because they aren’t filling all YOUR expectations or needs, ask yourself what are your needs. Are those EGO centric needs? Why are you feeling lonely or lacking? Why are you relying on the attention of someone else? Before we put blame on the other person, stop and self reflect. I think then you might learn to appreciate the time you do have with one another and feel more satisfied in the PRESENT. This doesn’t mean you should invest in a relationship where there is no future but you should be in something where you ARE HAPPY and the time and space shared with another human adds joy and love to your life. The rest is just fluff, fluff that is a reflection of our own ego issues and theirs, fluff that gets mixed up with other stuff in life.
Live your life spiritually as it will let you be free from any lack or ties to ego centric needs.