Having A Bad Day?

A few weeks ago I had the week of hell. Every thing seemed to be breaking and I was feeling more alone than ever, even with the extra company of a mouse in my basement. Lol. One night I put out a humane trap which looked like the most modern home for a little mouse. It was a cylinder, clear tan acrylic glass. As much as I love animals and as much as I was enjoying its help with the dogs food leftover mess, I couldn’t stand the tiny poop droppings every where. So on Sunday I got into my car, in the middle of quarantine and drove 10 minutes away until I found a good field. This mouse was so cute, with big puppy eyes, a tiny body and cute little ears. I felt awful putting him into this field off a semi busy road. I drove home with terrible guilt, and then later that night it got very cold. I immediately started regretting not waiting longer. I prayed, hoping it would make it thru the night.

The next day my basement drain flooded, I tried to unclog it myself but my little attempts with a coat hanger weren’t doing much. I used the shock vac and got the water under control but it was still clogged so I called a drain specialist. I realized it kept filling with water because of the furnace humidifier wasn’t shutting off and just leaking water non-stop. The shut valve was not working at all. While the drain specials snaked my drain, I called a furnace company to come look at the furnace, then called a plumber because my tub faucet and toilet kept leaking water as well. A friend recommend someone local and he never did ever follow thru.

Anyways, every thing was breaking on me. I felt so overwhelmed, frustrated, alone, and stuck. Luckily I still had my job but it was requiring my full attention. Furnace guy charged me more than I had anticipated and wanted to charge me way too much to fix it, so he then just told me what part I needed to buy. So I went on Amazon and bought the part needed. The following day I walked into my basement and found three tiny tiny mice, almost frozen to death walking mid across my basement. I’m sure to them it must of felt like a dessert with no ending. My heart dropped when I realized I had taken their mom away. I put them in containers and tried giving them some water and food after reading online what they would eat. After they didn’t react to the food, except two did to the water, I called a wildlife rescue, who told me to put the container on top of a heating pad to keep them warm. I had it on medium and apparently it was too hot, the runt of the liter passed away. 😦

I lowered the heating pad and put water in a bottle cap for them, I had lid on container with a slit open. I went to Lowe’s to buy another plumbing part and when I returned the other baby mouse passed away. I was heart broken. I thought for sure the two regular size ones would be ok. I was suppose to drop them off at the rescue place the next morning. So there I was with one little mouse left again. I went into my bedroom for a tiny bit and when I returned to my kitchen he or she had escaped, fallen into the ground and was wondering around. I quickly got the container and trapped it again. I then remembered the lady on the phone had said I could close the container if there was holes for it to breathe. So I went into my basement grabbed the drill and a tiny bit and started putting about twenty holes on top. I also discontinue using the heating pad. The next morning when I woke up, the third baby mouse had passed. I felt like a monster, a failure, a horrible person. I assume the holes were too tiny. Not sure. I buried it next to its siblings. I wondered for its mother, and I missed having her in the basement. I was so sad. Ohh I almost forgot before that day, my drained had clogged again. I’m not going to go into more details cuz it’s a lot but basically it costed me an extra $350, and was told I have roots growing into it and it will need to get repaired in the future aka $6k-$10k.

So back to the day of passing of the last mouse, so that day, the water leaking from my humidifier hose stopped, my toilet stopped leaking, and even my tub faucet drip became almost unnoticeable. The new part had come in but the issue had resolved itself.

I don’t know, I swear that momma mouse put some voodoo spell on me cuz that week was awful!

Today was not such a great day, I cried, I ate candy, I ate chocolate, I felt stuck again. I sit here putting that same heating pad on my belly, remembering those tiny babies, feeling a lot of mixed emotions but trying to have self compassion, sometimes we beat ourselves up more than we should, not solving anything but making things worst. Yes today was a bad day, but I remembered “This too shall pass.”, taking a long deep breath, and working on having self compassion, for we are only human.

May 11, 2020

-SaltyM

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