A FUCKBOY TO A MONSTER
If you have been following my blog, you will know Johnny Depp, aka, alias name, King of Fuckboys has come and gone from my life. In the last two-three years he has become a long distant friend that I barely speak to. A few weeks ago he called me, out of the blue asking me if his EX-gf had called or messaged me on social media. I said “No, why?”, and he said she had posted something on social media and had said a few things to him, leading to knowing about his summer trip to the state. He was so upset that she was spreading rumors that he had hit her, saying he would never do that. I questioned him how she could be claiming that, and he said she was showing a video of the red marks around her body but it was just where her sunburn was. I thought that sounded crazy but not once disbelieved him. I said why does it matter what others think, as long as you know the truth. You should feel peace and stop worrying so much about the post. Little did I know….
A Red Flag For Domestic Violence
The following week he drove 4 hours to see me. We laughed, got drunk, and talked for hours. Nothing else happened, except on the last night, things got rocky. I don’t recall why but he said something like don’t do that or I’m going to rip your shirt. I thought he was joking, and sure enough, he ripped my shirt. I yelled furiously and cried as I went to bed. I was so upset that one of my favorite shirts was gone now, not realizing at how bad the situation had become. The next day, he seemed upset with me, barely would talk to me. He made me feel guilty with his cold good-bye as I left him in my house and went to work. He then left my house a few hours later as I could see on my doggie camera. I thought the entire thing was weird. I felt like there was something I didn’t know but couldn’t figure out what. I later reached out via text, where he tried to manipulate me in feeling bad for not cuddling after he had reached out his arm out in the early morning. The signs started to pile up but weren’t apparent until the call.
Then The Ex Unmasks Someone You Thought You Knew
Two weeks later, I got a phone call from an unknown number. It was a latina woman on the phone, asking me if I spoke spanish. I immediately knew who it was. I answered defensively, questioning why she was calling. To make a long story short, she sent me the link to the original FB post Johnny Depp had mentioned where he failed to tell me there was an audio clip. You can hear her crying, telling him she cleaned it like he had asked, and him yelling at her for venting to one of her friends about the abuse, then at one point you hear him hitting her, and she screams and cries begging him to stop and asking why does he have to do that in her broken english. It was so apparent that she had been manipulated to the point of acting like property. It was so sad and pathetic behavior but I knew these were signs of an long term abused victim.
It felt like a stab finding out a man I admired so much and had in my house for three plus days, was an abuser of women, a liar, and a moocher. If I didn’t trust men now, now I was really questioning their character beyond fidelity. He had lied, denying he had gotten married after dating for a year (not that I would care). He had been using her to support his new business venture and mooching off her and other women prior. He had repeatedly cheated on her (which I always knew he would), and he had lied to her to manipulate her. Her first words to responding why she was calling was to apologize for hating me so much. I was like, huh, why would you hate me? I couldn’t understand. I had kept my distance and not interfered at all with his relationship. She then said that in May they had a big fight and he had told her I wouldn’t stop leaving him alone and was in love with him and kept texting him. Which was a lie (which reminded me of a similar situation with Bob). She said she had spoken to other women he had seen before and they all explained situations, she then realized he had been lying to her from day one and knew I wasn’t chasing him.
That night I spent 6 hours of my night with her on the phone being a friend while she circled back and forth thru stories. I had to keep reminding her that no matter what a person says, violence is not love. I had just watched a few episodes of Lorena and had seen all the signs of a victim of abuse, which matched her behavior. I felt like I was trying to teach a little girl that the candy she was eating was poisonous and no matter how sweet it tasted, it will eventually kill her. I felt so lucky to feel knowledgeable of recognizing the red flags at an early point. I explained to her since day one, I knew he was not capable to love, and was emotionally unavailable. I even once heard him on the phone with his sister where he was verbally abusive and just nasty. It was so obvious he had a temper issue. Luckily for me, I had never seen that side of him towards me until the very last day of his visit.
Domestic Violence Against Women Is Not Love
I have accept the fact men are cowards and will lie about being faithful but I will never accept domestic violence. That is not love, and it will never be. If we are all lead by primal instincts and survival is our main objective, then perhaps that is why I make sure to stay away from men who are controlling, jealous, possessive, and have short tempers. I think deep inside I fear of being killed by my partner. Recent research show 82% of women were killed by their domestic partner in 2018. There’s also a higher percentage women of hispanic descent are more likely to be victims. The stats are no joke, and domestic violence is a serious thing. 7% are female teens who are killed by their partner. Which is why it’s so important to teach our teens on how to identify the signs of an abuser. One little acceptance of the wrong behavior, can lead to a never ending cycle of verbal and physical abuse. If you are a woman and find yourself feeling trapped in your situation please make sure you search a support group. I promise there’s a way out and a better life exists out there for you.
For Signs on Domestic Violence see next post.