Finding My Twin With Beergoggles

The night before during meditation I requested to the universe to please bring me someone like me, someone who had the same love for spiritual growth, meditation, art, cooking, with blue eyes, and light brown hair…

One friday night,

me and my co-workers went out for the evening. We started at a dive bar, then moved to a fancy bar, and then ended back at a different dive bar. There a man I had previously dismissed in last bar tried hitting on me, I kinda brushed him off, but he followed me to my table and sat next to me after offering to buy me a drink (which I neglected) but we began talking. He was charming and friendly. Before I knew it, we were on the dance floor and the sparks were flying. He even went on stage and sang a song. It turned out he was a musician and his voice was unbelievable. We met another local person who invited us to their place to smoke (my gf smokes), so we decided to go since it was so close by.

Me and this singer guy sat on the floor covered with a flannel blanket. He held me in his arms and began sharing his life with me. All the things he was sharing had me shock at how much I aligned with them. It was as if the universe had just dropped him down from heaven and into my life. He held my hand and gave me a soft pop kiss good night. Next morning, I spoke to my gf and she wasn’t impressed on his looks. I was confused because from what I had remembered he looked handsome.

The dream guy…

He was everything I had wanted in a man, so what I thought. He was handy, working in his dad’s company doing house renovations and building houses (who doesn’t want a handyman?), he was an artist, always doing something creative, whether jewellery making, sculpture, or painting, he cooked frequently, made homemade dog food for his pup, and played the guitar and sang! He had beautiful blue eyes and blondish color hair. He was tall enough to make me feel safe. He dressed like a performer so a little bit away from my taste but manageable. “Could he be the one?”, I asked.

Our date…

Later on in the week I invited him to figure drawing class. I drove us there since he lived so close to me. In the car he shared how he had transformed from a pharmaceutical sales person, to a spiritual life seeker. As he spoke, I noticed a lot I hadn’t noticed before. He wore eyebrow make-up, his complexion was much paler than what I had remembered, and his ears popped up a little further than desired. I think he even had freckles. He was very nurturing, and a total gentleman. He showed me a lot of attention and respect. After class we went and grabbed food and drinks. During our goodbye kiss I refrained from having a full makeout session because I felt I was getting a cold sore. Perhaps this to him meant I wasn’t into him, unsure. The following days, we didn’t talk much via text. His grandmother was in Hospice and it wasn’t going to be long before she was gone, so I gave him space.

Then self realization occured…

I tried texting once to check in but didn’t get a reply back, at one point he commented on one of my snaps but that was it. I sat down to question whether I should proceed to date this man or wait for him to contact me. As I debated my options, I realized I had very little interest in dating someone just like me. What would I learn from them? He lacked ambition for growth and prosperity. Instead he wanted to live a material less world (which is good but not for me). I’m an entrepreneur at heart, and what drives me is ambition, learning and passion. I realized I prefer someone who is intellectually stimulating in other areas such as science, biology, psychology, economics and world knowledge. Those are things that feed my mind and I value more than sharing the same creative skills with. Never before had I understood that finding your twin didn’t mean finding the one.

Never stop learning about yourself

Chemistry is created in so many different ways thru hormones, pheromones, evolutionary and biological influences, learned behavior and personality compatibility. Best way to make sure it’s real is to see how you feel once the beergoggles are off. I don’t regret meeting him, or learning about him because thru the process I learned more about myself if I hadn’t gone on that date. I think we all want different things and we are all stimulated in different ways, sometimes it takes those bad dates to teach us what we do want thru what we don’t want. I learned the importance of the Ying/Yang and how my life craves balance thru differences to keep my attention, interest, and desire going for someone else thru a long term relationship.

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