Today I was asked why I had stopped talking to this guy who I saw about a month ago. We met up for brunch on a Sunday and followed the date with a movie at my house. We had great chemistry but no lines were crossed. A few days later, I invited him over for Netflix. He didn’t bring anything or offered. At one point we were sitting at the dining table where I expressed how much I was dying for some wine and didn’t have any. Not once did he offer to get some (which was literally right around the corner from my house), so instead I offered him tequila since that was all I had at my house and some snacks.
When he texted me today, he said I was an honest woman and wanted to hear what he was doing wrong. I told him I would be completely blunt with him as long as he didn’t become defensive. He agreed to not be hostile. So out of the blue, I came up this list, which is a real list but I’ve never have sat down to write it down. I explained it would be based on a 1-5 number scale, 5 being the best.
Here are his scores:
1. Thoughtfulness #1
2. Chivalry #2
3. Intellectual #5
4. Proactive in contact/making plans #1
5. Body type #3
6. Humor #2
7. Ambition #5
8. Open minded #4
9. Body language #5
10. Being present #5
11. Assets #1
12. Adventurous #1
13. Sex appeal #4
14. Multi-skills/hobbies #4
15. Romantic #1
16. Dog person #4
“The lack of offering to go pick up wine after I verbally expressed my deep desire for it is something that stood out. Most guys would have offered since it’s around the corner or would have brought something when coming over or offered. – no explanation or apology requested.” Is what I texted.
He was very polite and asked a few questions to #1 and #11, where I explained the above, then mentioned I considered assets such as a house, car, and stable job.
Even though we had great chemistry and he was very intellectual (my type of guy), the lack of sensitivity and chivalry really got to me. Perhaps I’m old fashioned but I like to be treated special, even if it’s in my own home. I believe being thoughtful and kind go a long way.
So next time, you get invited over to someone’s house, be polite and bring something.
Kindness is always remembered and makes you stand out!