We live in a time that everyone has a busy life, free time is very precious and to waste an evening with someone you can’t stand is criminal. Valuing your time is the best choice you can make. With the non-stop swiping, and constant switching message windows from person to person, it’s hard to choose who you want to go on a first date with.
STEP 1: SWIPE ONLY FOR PEOPLE WHO YOU WANT TO KISS AND TALK TO
I normally start with five matches (being picky that I am), then I narrow it down to three guys. I try to give everyone a chance but a chance doesn’t mean a date. I’ll talk to them until I get to the point where I either get bored or figure out they don’t meet my standards and we have zero in common. I kindly tell them I’m no longer interested, where then they try to convince me that I’m wrong in not giving them a chance or say “But we haven’t even met, how do you know we aren’t a good match?”. Last week I almost replied “Cuz you are annoying AF” but I was too nice and just didn’t reply after they told me how much I was missing out and their ongoing list of qualities. Which just made me feel reassured that my instinct was right. I’ve learned not to waste time.
STEP TWO: LISTEN TO YOUR INSTINCT! Choose a person that is showing a strong interest in you by engaging in conversation, asking things that they picked up from your profile.
STEP THREE: PICK SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO REGARDLESS WHO HE IS (SOMETHING YOU COULD ENJOY ALONE OR WOULD DO EVEN IF HE WASN’T TAKING YOU THERE).
Don’t think that every person you go on a date is applying for the husband position. MOST LIKELY they WON’T BE THE ONE. You have to look at dating as something FUN. Now how can we know whether we will have fun or be entertained? The question you should ask yourself HOW DO I HAVE FUN REGARDLESS OF WITH WHO I AM WITH? For me it’s DANCING AND DRINKS. I love it! Anything with music is my thing. So I make sure that my date has either live music or dance music. Which is a test on how it would be if we would be a couple. It’s the ultimate test on doing something you love and know you wouldn’t want to get rid of in your life. If this new guy has something negative to say about the ambience of your good juju, then obviously he is NOT the one.
STEP FOUR: WHO TO PICK?
One of the things I’ve learned is that I’m greatly entertained by knowledge. If my date is teaching me something or is sharing something so out of my range that I’m in awe at the story then I know I’m going to be entertained. Pick someone with adventurous or eventful career so they can entertain you with their stories. Lawyers are fun compared to the guy who works in a manufacturing warehouse. Musicians, travelers, and even swingers!
If a guy can get you to laugh over text, it’s always a good sign! It’s also a sign they are confident. If a guy sends you more selfies than you take, take that as a note that they are arrogant and most likely not worth your time. They care more about appearances and lack the ability to have an intellectual conversation. They can’t formulate enough interesting conversations so they send you tons of pics. Soooo annoying!!
FIRST DATES CAN BE THE ULTIMATE TEST
Two weeks ago I decided to take a chance and meet a guy for the first time at the GYM as our first date and it was great! I felt like I didn’t lose anytime because I was doing what was on my TO DO LIST and doing what I WANTED to do! It was a test on how we would work out together, a test on his ability of lasting thru a hard workout, and how he treated women in a position where he could have the ability to show off or be a teacher.
The date went well, we set up a second date at the gym, with clean up at my place and drinks downtown. Again, had a great time listening to an amazing band and having my favorite drinks. Third date was New Year’s Eve! Wasn’t sure how I felt about spending it with someone new but again I did what I wanted to do and that was to stay home, make dinner and spend it with my pups, so why not share it with someone who is good company?