How can we become smarter at who we chose to spend our evenings with and how can we make it worth our time?

Being a Millennial and being single is not easy! Especially being newly divorced and playing catch up with the dynamics of dating again. There are countless apps for online dating.  They can become addicting and take over your life before you know it. The only one that seems to keep your inbox emptier and under control is Bumble.

Each year our lives are more connected electronically. With the rise of cryptocurrency this past year, I’m pretty certain that being connected thru the internet will only become stronger and needed in our society even more so than what it already is. Social media is bottom line addictive. Studies show show how checking our phones produces endorphins and send happy wave messages to our brain, making us repeat it over and over again for that reward feeling. I’ve tried several times to de -attach myself from these online outlets but the struggle is real!! I can’t seem to cut off my online dating app even though every time I swipe it’s mostly to the left and maybe 1 in 100 to the right.  Why can’t I stop relying on this app to meet someone special. So far I just keep getting disappointed or regretting agreeing to a date. I get home and look around and have a long list of things I should had been doing instead of going on a date with the wrong person.

I’m very picky with men I see, so when meeting someone in person isn’t as rewarding as you thought it would be, it’s almost a blow at your gut. I’m guilty of  being a strong believer in giving people a chance even though I normally judge a book by it’s cover.

Looks aren’t everything. A man should be able to be intellectual and entertaining to keep my attention, or he should be a good dancer so I don’t run off with someone else. Lol.  Even if the date is great, but the post sex sucks, how can you avoid having bad sex? How can we be so picky but wise enough to give a good guy a chance and see if he can make you laugh until your stomach hurts, or leaves you with your brain sparked? I think I’ve realized that I’m not being picky enough. Too many wasted dates so far. My laundry is piling up and I still haven’t vacuumed. I think the trick is to really start paying attention on the type of conversations you are having before meeting. What things do you have in common and how do they measure up to your NEED QUALITY LIST?

This weekend I went on a date with someone that my intuition told me wasn’t going to be good and OH BOY wasn’t I right. Not only was I right but more disappointed. Nothing like calling it out and then being shown in person your predictions. I know it’s not nice to stereotype people but at the end of the day, we are talking about odds. I knew this guy would be catholic and republican all based on where he was from and I DON’T think or act like either of those things, so why would I waste my time with someone I had zero common interest? The guy never answered my question about either prior, instead he responded with a witty answer avoiding to answer. I thought it was a smart move and figured I might as well give it a try, seconding guessing my intuition. He wasn’t as good looking as he was in his pictures and he had a horrible face scar that I never saw on his pictures (which wasn’t bad- more like a turnon) but it bothered me that I wasn’t made aware of it, or that it almost felt hidden from me. We danced a little and then he invited me over. As soon as I walked into his apartment I wanted to walk out. It was pretty empty, as if he had just moved there. There was a hammer on his nightstand (he said he used it for protection), and pretty much everything was blah, except for one photograph of a ski hill that I felt drawn to. His apartment was as boring as his personality. Which should had been a clue to how the sex would be too. He got tired quick and he doesn’t wear deodorant, so his body odor was horrible. I wanted to shower asap to get his smell off me. He didn’t care to please me, and his dick stopped working in the middle of it. He told me he needed medication but didn’t’ want to take it. So I insisted for him to take it. I didn’t go through all that trouble to be left with nothing but even after he took it, the sex didn’t last long. I quickly after asked him to take me back to my car. There was no way in hell I was staying over with him.

My decision to give me a chance was all due to the fact that my hormones were raging. It’s not easy being in your 30’s. Lol. So now I ask myself how can I stop myself from making similar mistakes? So now when I get this little negative thoughts in my head about a potential date, I will make sure to start listening cuz most likely your intuition knows better than your heart or pussy does.

We need to reevaluate how we pick them, and stop worrying about stereotyping. Follow your intuition. It know’s it’s shit. Don’t waste your time with someone who’s not going to add to your life in a positive way.

Posted by:Salty Melons

Artist, blogger, interested in researching how we identify sex appeal, how we date in the 21st century, contemporary art, dog rescuing, against slut shamming, and loving life!

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