Johnny Depp 1.1

happy New year

Holidays should be to be spent with close friends or family. So when Johnny Depp invited me to spend New Year’s Eve with him I was pretty surprised. I thought he would be spending it with guy friends at a club but instead he tells me that he’s meeting another girl from Bumble. I almost threw up in my mouth. She was a Mexican girl that was interested in hooking up with another chic so she would be cool if I came along and not pressured in doing anything is what he said. She was also bringing a girlfriend, so I agreed in going, figuring it would be fine, and that we would get along since she was Latina.

 

….AT THE CLUB

She turned out to be much younger than me, not really my type of person I would choose to hang out with but I went along for the opportunity in going somewhere fun since I didn’t have any other plans. He told me “I must not try to control him because he didn’t belong to anyone”, which is fair since I knew previously that he didn’t believe in monogamy. We took a group picture at the entrance of the club, which was awkward. He looked like a pimp with three girls.  I immediately began dancing with someone else as he tried to bounce back and forth between dancing with me and hanging the other girls. Towards the end of the night, they were blasted. They all passed out on the sofa. I left them all at her house.

 

…THE NEXT DAY

The guy I had met at the club texted me and invited me out for breakfast. When he picked me up he definitely didn’t look as good looking as I had remembered. As I sat with him, I kept thinking of the night before and how I had glanced over to Johnny and the girls and she and him were making out and how it made me feel. It was strange. It felt like a battle inside my body. My body boiled with anger but my mind calmly cooled me off, as I kept telling myself “He’s a Fuckboy, no one worth having feelings for!” and it worked. Breakfast was delicious but my date definitely had a different agenda and way of thinking than me. He was looking for THE ONE, and I couldn’t imagine seeing the same person every day. Johnny Depp then texted me while I was having breakfast. Being the open person I am, I told my date about the text. He said he wasn’t sure if Johnny Depp was my boyfriend from the club but figured I was single since I had accepted to exchange numbers. I then realized that I had only exchanged numbers to get my mind off of the situation I was in. As if having options would make it better, so stupid, I know. Having to share a date, was something I was not use to nor had any idea how to feel or act. Depp continuously started texting me begging me to come over to this girl’s house, I refused and said if he wants to see me badly he would have to  Uber over to mine. So he did.

We had picked up a bottle of vodka the night before, so when he came over we began drinking. He put music on and we danced for hours. Slowly I began to fall deep for him. His soul is so bright, always smiling and moving to the music as if it would run through his blood. We filmed each other dancing and were having a great time day drinking. He sat down to take a break and was on his phone. I then sat on his lap and he began to tell me that the girl from the night before was on her way over. I literally jumped of him and went crazy Latina on him. I couldn’t understand why he would ruin what we were having to include someone else. I got so mad that I slapped him. He was in shock but didn’t yell at me for doing it, then he told me he had been joking and accused me of being jealous and was testing me.

Is it natural to be jealous if monogamy is not natural? I think jealously is natural. It’s the feeling of losing what we have or think we have. It’s an instinctive reaction that is hard to control but just cause it’s real, it doesn’t mean monogamy is natural. His cruel joke was like ice cold water splashed in my face to wake the fuck up and stop any deep emotions for this man that clearly will never be truly mine. Most women wouldn’t waste their time or energy talking to a Fuckboy but the way he makes me feel when we are together is like no other. So if I live my life as it’s my last day, why not spend it happy even if it’s for one day or two?

In order to protect myself emotionally, I do things different and have zero expectations from him. I don’t text him Hi, How are you conversations, nor do I text him asking him personal questions, pretty much treat him like I don’t give a fuck about him and it works! Very rarely do I send him a meme. Then when he’s in town he contacts me to set a date or make plans. He’s very caring, in the sense of gifting me things that are special to him. So he’s not entirely a fuckboy nor do I even consider him a true fuckboy. He’s my Johnny Depp. He has a lot of negative attributes, and I will never let him break my heart, nor my soul, I’m better than that. I don’t have heart when it comes to him. I can’t identify what I have for Johnny Depp, all I know is that he makes me laugh with his stories, and looks at me like I’m melting ice cream. My advice is do what makes you happy for the present but always put yourself first.  We are all on different stages in life, do what makes sense to who you are today and what makes you happy and can’t hurt you. Also always use protection!

Posted by:Salty Melons

Artist, blogger, interested in researching how we identify sex appeal, how we date in the 21st century, contemporary art, dog rescuing, against slut shamming, and loving life!

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