ALONE AND HAPPY IN TODAY’S AGE

What does it mean to be alone aka single and happy in the 21st century? Well let me paint you a picture. It means you get to come home to no expectations, to no demands, to no plans, to be welcomed by your dogs who adore you from head to toe, who love you unconditionally, who don’t judge you, who listen, who keeps you warm inside and out, who make you feel safe, who give you a push when you need it and are always happy to be with you. I think the moment we learn to love ourselves more than anyone else we can learn to enjoy life as our OWN, and not as someone else’s. Cheers to being ALONE AND HAPPY!

As a human, a female human, I realize women suck. That’s right, I said it! Men are pretty simple. They want sex, food, and sleep. Women, we want it to look like A, taste like B, and feel like C. We go from one extreme to the other. One minute we want a man who’s going to make it worth it in the bedroom, the next we want a husband figure who’s going to keep us interested past the sex and help you with housework (you can blame mother nature and our hormones for that).

This past week I feel like I got a first row ticket to my own drama that lacked the bloody ending but kept me in the shadow from knowing why I was acting the way I was. I went from having one of the best sex in my life with someone who I would see every three days to not caring at all about sex, nor about anyone else except myself. Our every three day schedule disappeared this past week. We saw each other Sunday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The only alone days I had was Monday and Thursday. I didn’t get to do anything on my To Do list, and I had missed the gym several times, not to mention missed on the opportunity to write on the blog. I didn’t know it until today (the following week) that I was feeling suffocated. This man who I’m seeing is the nicest guy! So sweet, so understanding, open minded, supportive, and easy going. One of my favorite things about him or us, is that we just laugh so much at the stupidest things. We don’t have much in common but we are constantly laughing and enjoying the present. He told me this Sunday that he felt I was distant for a few days now. I think I felt it too but didn’t know I was doing such thing, nor that it had a face. When asked what was going on, I got a flashback to the feelings I felt towards the last Fuckboy in my life (someone who I had shared my space with and saw more regularly).  I felt like even though he was a fuckboy, he made me feel free in my own home and our time together felt right.

Here I was comparing cuddling watching a series with my new boo to sitting next to a Fuckboy who read his book, while I read mine. Why was I happier with this Fuckboy who didn’t and doesn’t deserve me? How could something much colder and distant feel more right? The reality is that I’ve discovered that  I’m happier alone. I’m happier doing me. I love reading, I never have enough time to read, and by him reading, it gave me the chance to also read. Sounds like a bad excuse but in my eyes it’s a shared valuable time. I don’t need to be held all night to feel special. I get that from my dogs. I get all the kisses and cuddles from them, why do I need it from a human? Some people really do but I think I’m more of a giver than a receiver. I rather give affection, then receive it in physical touch. This is how self-love looks like being alone and happy.

When you realize you prefer to be alone, to work on yourself rather than play boyfriend and girlfriend is the moment you know you need to focus more on yourself to reach satisfaction and goals. In this time of age, do we even have time to be lonely and feel lonely? From having house chores, social media, memes, texting, reddit, blogging, tv series, podcast, hobbies, social invites, gym, cooking, pets, etc….how in the world do we find time to even date working 40 hours a week and working on yourself? The thick cloud filled with baby making thoughts and family plans that hovers over most people doesn’t float over me. Perhaps that’s the difference between you and me. You have this expectation that it should be like this or look like this by this certain time and date but I don’t. Therefore the equation is completed by x= me, making me feel happy being single! Stop having expectations and you too will find being alone and happy a possible thing!

HERE’S A GREAT VIDEO ON TIPS HOW TO FEEL HAPPY BEING ALONE AND LOVING YOURSELF! SO IMPORTANT!  How To Be Single and Happy by Isabel Palacios

 

 

Alone and happy banner

 

Posted by:Salty Melons

Artist, blogger, interested in researching how we identify sex appeal, how we date in the 21st century, contemporary art, dog rescuing, against slut shamming, and loving life!

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